tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61370332641323604.post6485901879109135630..comments2023-06-24T23:24:29.109+09:00Comments on Naked in the Sauna: the mirror is godCarolhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03613309511449105126noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61370332641323604.post-72659752088645555972008-09-25T00:22:00.000+09:002008-09-25T00:22:00.000+09:00Thanks Cat!I think it sucks too...heehee...but you...Thanks Cat!<BR/>I think it sucks too...heehee...but your opinion and comments duly noted and think you might be right. It's something - that whole "not standing out" thing - that is really hard for people who have been brought up in a "be whoever you want to be" kinda mould, to accept. But I'm working on trying to understand it all!lollybathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11193947478385914018noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61370332641323604.post-41458573878934778052008-09-23T17:35:00.000+09:002008-09-23T17:35:00.000+09:00My previous comment should not be interpreted to m...My previous comment should not be interpreted to mean I approve of this kind of behavior. I don't. It sucks. But, you need to find whatever way of dealing with it that works for you.<BR/><BR/>Just to offer my opinion on what's going on with the conversation.Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12125706583228787660noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61370332641323604.post-85104223746062407102008-09-23T17:34:00.000+09:002008-09-23T17:34:00.000+09:00I don't know. In my experience, older Korean women...I don't know. In my experience, older Korean women I know tend to try to exert this sort of not-so-subtle pressure to conform to the accepted way of being. <BR/><BR/>I've become rather close to my daughter's nanny (she is roughly my mother's age) and she is always making what I would consider borderline rude remarks about my weight, cooking, the amount my daughter eats, how much this must cost my husband, etc.<BR/><BR/>I think that M (and my nanny) think that they are being helpful. In my (admittedly not totally well-informed opinion) I think this is how conformity and group cohesion and the social hierarchy are enforced here. This sort of constant subtle shaming with regard to any deviation from the accepted norm.<BR/><BR/>In the case of my daughter's nanny, H, I think it's the way she would interact with a daughter-in-law or younger female coworker, etc. And, it's behavior she has learned from older women in her life.Cathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12125706583228787660noreply@blogger.com